No matter how many cock blocks you avoid or loyal wingmen you have, some guys still strike out with the ladies at bars. Thankfully, Keys to the VIP’s seduction guru Chris Greidanus knows how to help.
Keys to the VIP is a new Comedy Network show in which two male contestants are placed in a club setting and must complete challenges — like making a girl laugh or getting her phone number — within a certain time limit. Four panelists, including Greidanus, watch the contestants on TV and select a winner based on his approach and overall attitude.
“People can be pretty judgmental in the bar scene and unfortunately, women are bombarded with these obnoxious guys,” Greidanus says. “I don’t blame women for having their guards up when they go out to clubs.”
What seperates Keys from shows like Blind Date and The 5th Wheel is the panelists, who provide witty commentary and honest analysis. Although the show is about pursuing women, it doesn’t endorse polygamy.
According to Greidanus, it’s a “real, up-close glimpse into these moments and conversations between men and women” in all their awkward, cringe-inducing glory.
“The thing that I love about the show [are the] ‘David versus Goliath’ episodes,” Greidanus says. “You’ve got the alpha-male who was born with all these tools that you think would typically attract women. But Goliath falls hard and fast — and it’s great to watch guys who think they’re God’s gift to women fall because outside of their looks and friends, they don’t have much to back it up.”
Greidanus, the panel’s self-proclaimed “hopeless romantic,” claims reading a woman’s body language and having a sense of humour are the best weapons in the bar-pickup battlefield.
“There are three stages to any first encounter between people: the open, the rapport and the close,” he says. “The icebreaker is the hardest part for a lot of guys. With seduction, you have to be introduced; you have to create a rapport and establish some level of interest and attraction and then hopefully close effectively as far as maybe setting up a first date or exchanging phone numbers.
“A mistake that a lot of guys do is trying to get right to that close. Have something interesting to say. She might have been approached by five guys before you; what’s going to separate you from the rest of them?”
If there’s little hope for some of these alpha-males, can a nice guy really successfully pick up at bars?
“I’ve never liked that phrase ‘pick-up’ because to me it sounds shallow and so mechanical,” Greidanus says. “The best thing guys can do is realize that women are actually very receptive to social status in the club.
“So it’s not so much your looks; it’s how you’re perceived with everyone else in your surroundings. It’s very fascinating, and we’ve seen it in the show. Are you perceived as a fun guy, or the guy who likes to have a good time? And [that] doesn’t mean acting like a man-whore, it just means you’re there to have a good time no matter what.
“Once you can establish that — and you’re not this creepy guy staring and sipping on your beers [thinking that] somehow a girl’s just going to fall in love with you — dancing a little, joking, laughing and engaging in conversation are actually very appealing.”
Greidanus insists girls truly want nice guys.
“Don’t think that nice guys finish last. When nice guys fail, it’s [because] they’re boring. It’s a common misconception that girls want assholes; they don’t, but they just want some excitement in their life. So a gentleman can definitely win in this situation but he has to have an edge. Don’t forget about that.”
Keys to the VIP airs Tuesdays at 10:30 p.m. on the Comedy Network.
By Desiree Gamotin
